But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
