Dual....:-)
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
