Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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