I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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