i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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