it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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