The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.