Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it