I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
