I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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