I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
