Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
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Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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