# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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