Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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