Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
