I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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