your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
