I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
