I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
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Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
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STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize