I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize