i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want to be your penis for a week.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
