The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
