how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Damn victory sex feels great
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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