Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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