that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
