But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
