we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
