I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
