I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
