Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
