She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize