I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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