i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
