Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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