Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
