i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
