He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
