You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
