i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
