I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
