I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
