Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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