No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
