honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
