Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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