Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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