I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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