My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
