we're blogging at a bar
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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