i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
