I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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