Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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