Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
