I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
