WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
