She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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