She's JV to your varsity
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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