Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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