I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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