I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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