I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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