i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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